Tag Archives: free parking

Loan Sharks and Restless Natives

Came home from work this afternoon and my roommates plus a friend had just finished a up game of Robinson Crusoe. They had just died after being attacked by a band of cannibals… but not because they were eaten. After defeating the cannibals, they then starved to death. If only they’d been able to eat the cannibals…

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Rewind to last night. After Wednesday’s game of Monopoly Deal at games night, I was actually craving a game of Monopoly proper for maybe the first time in fifteen years. I wanted to find out if it was actually the terrible game everyone (including me) has been claiming. But I knew I’d have a hard time getting the folks at any of my local meetups to play. What to do? Enter my housemates. Or at least one of them. M was all for it; B was hesitant when we first asked him before dinner, and straight against playing with us when we brought it up again afterward. That’s fine. Two players was more than enough.

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I’ve been told that if you’re going to play Monopoly, you should do it with the rules as written and omit all the house rules people like to use. In particular, putting payments to the bank on “Free Parking” to be won by the next player to land on it. I was a little sad about that, since it seems like Free Parking is a useless space otherwise. Also I like unexpectedly coming into large sums of money and Get Out of Jail Free cards.

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At first, the game was super slow. Roll, move, purchase property, pass the dice, repeat. But then, as we started to collect sets and run out of cash, things started to get interesting. One rule I never even knew about was that if you decide to not buy a property you land on, the bank has to put it up for auction. There didn’t seem to be much purpose to this in the early stages of the game, and it was actually pretty annoying. But as available properties became more scarce and our funds ran low, auctioning turned out to be a powerful way to get inexpensive properties and/or drive up the price of properties M needed so that she would be forced to either give them to me cheap or go further into debt.

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Several internet friends told me after the fact that the orange properties are statistically the most valuable in the game, and while I don’t care enough right now to look up the statistics I will confirm that holding a full set of orange deeds and steadily building up houses on them was a key to my victory. That, and owning three railroads, and owning all the colored properties on the first side of the board. I was also saved by the foolish deal M made with me – the remaining orange property I needed in exchange for the remaining red property she needed, plus she would waive the rent for the next three times I landed on her red properties. Considering she was deeply in debt at the time, it was too good an offer to pass up.

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As a child, I always assumed that owning Boardwalk and Park Place were important to victory. As an adult, I never played Monopoly enough to question that assumption. Now I know that it’s straight not true. M owned both, with a house on Park Place, and I landed on it at least three times at $175 a pop. It hurt. But not as much as the $900+ rent she couldn’t pay when she landed on Tennessee Ave in the final turn of the game. I crushed her under my oppressive capitalist heel the celebrated my victory by taking a shower and going to bed.

Conclusion: Monopoly wasn’t nearly as bad as I remembered it, and was actually a fun diversion for a few hours. It gave me a chance to hang out with M (and B when he wandered over out of curiosity for the last 1/4 of the game) and not have to think too hard about what I was doing.

Also, Free Parking totally has a purpose. Its purpose is to be a safe haven that means you managed to make it half way around the board again and don’t have to pay out to your opponents this turn. Similarly, being in jail can actually be a good thing once all the properties have been purchased. It’s three turns where you will probably collect some rent and not have to pay any out in return. Who knew a life of crime could be so cushy?

Is there a game that you either discovered wasn’t nearly as bad as you remembered it, or a game that you’ve dismissed out of hand in the past but might want to give a second chance?